I Will Have Forever With You: Tales of Mr and Mrs Reese
by POIphantomgirl
Summary: John and Joss promised to take a chance on love, but because they never know when the sweet bliss will end, each moment is treated like their last.
1. Chapter 1: Nine Words

_Okay so I'm sorry I still haven't written a Careese wedding. Parts of it have been ready for a couple years now, but I'm trying to piece the rest together and I've been bombarded with other ideas. I'm not quite sure how many one-shots will be in this story I'll just add as they come to me. Of course none of the characters are mine. These take place after John and Joss are married, many sweet fluffy Careese moments. Thanks to all who read!_ _J_

John's arm was heavily draped over his wife's body. His chest pressed firmly to her back, legs aligning perfectly with hers. Every night was the same. He nearly smothered her, taking up most of the mattress, keeping her locked in his arms. Possessive even in his sleep. Joss never complained. Not when it chased away cruel nightmares that revived his haunted past and caused him to wake up with a smile each morning.

John was content beneath the thick covers curled up to his Joss. Face buried in her neck. The moment of bliss was interrupted by the buzzing of his phone. With a groan that didn't make it past his lips, he rolled over.

"Finch?" he answered careful to keep his voice low so as not to disturb his sleeping beauty.

"We have a new number Mr. Reese."

He ran a hand over his face, mind awakening in preparation for the mission he was soon to embark upon. "I'm on my way." Disconnecting he got out of bed. Turning he tucked the comforter around Joss's back, knowing she'd feel the loss of his body heat. Dressed within a few minutes he returned to the bed. He hated having to wake her, but they had an agreement. An agreement she forced him to keep even if it was inconvenient for her.

Easing down onto the edge, he placed a hand on her hip giving her a small shake. "Joss. Babe. Joss."

"Mmm?" she moaned not opening her eyes.

"I have to go to work." Six words. Six words he was obligated to tell her whenever he got the notorious call from Finch in the night.

He heard her exhale heavily. Her hand tiredly reached out, finding its way to the lapel of his suit jacket. She tugged him down while turning her head. She pulled him in for a soft kiss. Breaking it, she paused meditating on her next words. Finally her eyes opened. "I love you."

Three words. The reason he had to wake her every time he left in the middle of the night. She demanded he wake her, so that in case he didn't return, she was given one more chance to tell him he was loved. By her.

She relaxed on her pillow ready to return to sleep. John watched her, stroking her soft cheek. "I love you too. Don't wait up."

The only response was the sound of her breathing evening out.

Reluctantly he stood going to the bedroom door. He turned back for one last look and then went off into the night. Eager to return to the woman sleeping in his bed.


	2. Chapter 2 Rescue Me

_Okay so I do want to give a heads up, this does have a little violence in it, so is more of a K+ For some this may be on the minor side of violence, but I still just wanted to give a warning._

Her head was pounding. Her sides beyond being in pain. One eye was swollen shut, while the other's view was blurred by sweat and blood. Every breath was labored. Her heart, already fragile, was working overtime to pump the blood through her veins. And of course having her hands tied behind her back wasn't in anyway helping. Even with everything that was against her, she tried to remain calm.

 _God please give me strength. Until He comes_ she prayed silently not knowing where else to turn, until _he_ came. For surely he _would_ come. He always came. Maybe a little late, but at least she could count on him to show up.

Joss' ears were swift to hear the movements of her captors within the darkened room. She licked her swollen bottom lip, disgusted with the taste of her blood. Another reminder that they had beaten her like a man. All because she refused to reveal where she was keeping a witness hidden. Her mother would throw a fit if she could see her now. Her mom already had her opinion about the dangers of her job and now look at her. Tied up, beaten, no doubt a few broken ribs, and waiting on John to save her. She only hoped her mom had a little compassion today, in spite of her decision to choose such a dangerous living, and was sending up a few extra prayers on her behalf.

She took another uneasy breath. She could make it. She had been trained for this moment. And she wasn't talking.

"Boss, she ain't talking."

 _That's right._ Inwardly she smiled knowing the timing for showing signs of happiness was odd. No doubt this was her pit and the pendulum experience. Where she was drifting somewhere between sanity and insanity as she awaited her fate.

"Kill her then." The boss demanded roughly. His voice consumed with his exasperation. "We've wasted enough time."

"But Boss what good is she dead?"

"At this rate what good is she alive?!" She heard him sigh. "If you want to try once more, then do it! But, make it quick."

Joss heard him retreat and groaned not sure if she could take much more. _God, if I don't see him again, I hope he knows how much I love-_ No! She couldn't think that. Her time wasn't up. John still needed her and he was on his way. A shadow closed in, Joss turned her head towards it, unsure which of the goons wanted to play bully. She weakly braced herself for another attack.

"Alright Detective. Times running out. You've had a ring of luck with your black knight, but he can't save you every time. You've got a son. If you ever want to see him again I suggest you tell us what you know."

She didn't respond. Roughly his hand grabbed her jaw, his fingers pressing into her tender flesh. Pushing her skin into her teeth. He made her look at him, not that she could focus in on any of his features. He spoke in a growl calling her every fowl name in the book. "I said tell me where he's hiding."

He waited only a second before his fist painfully connected with her face. Joss whimpered. Needles of pain traveled from her temple down to her neck.

She felt her attacker move in for another blow, abruptly he was stopped. A commotion disrupted in the room. Joss tried to look around, but the bodies before her were nothing but moving silhouettes.

They were fighting. A heated and gory battle if the sounds and swift movements were any indication. Two forms at last gave way, then Joss heard two shots. The lone figure still standing turned towards her and approached. Unwittingly Joss flinched in fear. The form hesitated then continued his advance with caution.

A hand, with a gentle soft touch carefully lifted her chin. Joss forced her eyes to focus. Dark hair came into view, a white face, and beautiful blue eyes.

"John," she sobbed her shoulders sagging in relief. Tears streamed down her face, mixing with the blood.

Without a word John worked quickly to free her from the tight ropes that were engraving their mark into her skin. Joss could feel the rage pouring from his tense body and she wondered if the shots she heard had been fatal. Finally free her body slipped beyond her control. John reached and caught her, carefully bringing her head to rest on his shoulder. She wanted to protest, conscience of the human fluids draining from her face that would ruin his suit. But John didn't give any time for her protests and she was overtaken with her husband's embrace.

Her tears came down harder and she fisted one hand into his dress shirt crying his name over and over.

"I'm here babe." He kissed her head. "I'm here."

Joss shuddered soaking in his strength, smell, everything that made him John. He made it. Just like she knew he would. Thank God. He made it. She knew her time wasn't up. Joss sighed trying to soothe her jumpy nerves. It was over. It was all over. Despite her pain and tears, she smiled. Knowing that John's aggravation would soon pass as well.

His body was still rigid, jaw locked tightly. Veins protruding from his neck.

 _What had they done?_ He wondered.

It had only been a few hours yet they had managed to do this much damage to her. His heart burned with indignation. He had vowed that no one would harm her. The urgency to keep that promise had only intensified after she became his wife. But again he had failed. She had endured pain when it could have been prevented.

He pulled out a handkerchief and leaned back to carefully clean Joss's bruised and battered face. She looked so weary. His touch was soft, not wanting to cause her further pain. When her eyes were at least clear, he rested her once again on his shoulder.

Carefully he shifted his arm beneath her legs. He lifted her into his arms and she hissed in pain. Pausing he straightened letting her adjust. His gaze roamed to where her captors lay. Alive. He had been tempted to finish them for good for what they had done. He almost had. But Joss wouldn't have wanted it. And he wasn't that man anymore.

"John. Let's go home."

Her voice, although barely audible, cut through his thoughts. She knew where his mind had lingered and was trying to distract him. She was right. He needed to leave.

For now he had freed her, and she was safe in his arms again. He lay another kiss to the top of her head and walked towards the door, freeing them both from her prison.

 _The pit and the pendulum is referencing Edgar Allen Poe, I do not on that either and the reference just seemed to fit. There might be a part two to this in the future._


	3. Chapter 3 Blameless

Joss treasured independence. It had been her companion for years. But the past few weeks that love for independence was completely kicked out the door. After the beating she took, team machine was ready to go crazy on her attackers. Shaw had to be talked down more than once, Fusco was tempted to plant evidence to further incriminate the men. Even Harold verbalized his anger, stating his doubts with their lives being spared.

Unable to execute revenge they preoccupied themselves with utterly spoiling her. Finch stopped by daily with glamorous arrangements of daises. He stayed at least an hour to talk about current events. It birthed a new friendship that Joss was starting to love. When Shaw dropped by Joss had to endure an impromptu check-up. Then they would kick back and, in their own way, have girl-talk. John left them alone. The softer side of his co-worker was a little unnerving. Of course Fusco gave her the updates on work and brought her greasy fatty foods she probably didn't need. Taylor was attentive, patient, and as loving to her as she had been to him on his sick days as a child.

Joss's only complaint, was also where her greatest appreciation lied. Her husband. While everyone else tried to get her mind off the events that got her in this state, John's heavy mood darkened what would be a completely enjoyable time for Joss. Loaded with guilt he continued to beat himself up over what had happened. What he felt should have never taken place if he was a good husband. Every time he looked at her bruised face, in spite of how it was recovering, or watched her hiss in pain when she disturbed her sensitive ribs, a fresh wave of guilt would hit. Condemning him again and again.

Joss let him sulk for a day or two. Then when the "visiting hours" started, she attempted to draw him from his misery by involving him in their conversations. But usually he left the room before she had a good chance to make him talk.

Harold stood from the seat that remained near their bed awaiting his daily visits. He started to slip into his jacket, just as John returned with a full glass of iced tea. He walked to the opposing side of the bed placing it on the night stand. With a light hand Joss's fingers brushed the daisies. "Thanks again for the flowers Finch."

"You're very welcome Joss. I'm glad you're feeling better."

"How can I not with you always checking up on me?" She lowered her hand. "Besides, this one over here," she pointed at John while hiding her finger behind her free hand knowing John could still see, "he never goes off duty. I was doomed to recover in record breaking time."

John barely blinked at the comment. So much for lifting his mood. Finch cleared his throat looking at Joss.

"Anyway." She pursed her lips and leaned towards Harold, lowering her voice once again knowing John's ears would pick up her words. "You better get going. Leave Grumpy to me."

He nodded fighting a quirky smile. "See you tomorrow Joss. Goodbye John."

The door closed leaving them alone. John was still standing beside the bed his mind faraway. Joss wasn't sure he was even aware Harold had left. With a smile Joss reached her arm out gripping his hand. She gave it a gentle tug. Giving into her pull John eased beside her onto the bed.

Her soft smile remained firmly in place. "You must _really_ love me." She saw the expected frown. "Here I am looking like a bruised, broken, and crushed prune and you still warm up to me every night."

Instead of a reassuring her silly comment with any shape of a smile, his hands framed her face, touch soft, and he leaned in to kiss her bruised eye where the swelling finally had gone down. He shifted to kiss her mouth, gently caressing her lips. Being cautious, ever cautious to not cause her any further pain. Joss moaned when he pulled away.

Sighing she looked into his eyes. "This isn't your fault." Instantly his eyes dropped. Tucking her fingers beneath his chin she waited until his gaze was once more on hers. "John, this _isn't_ your fault. It's just something that happened." The words were firm. The interrogator rising. "It's part of the job."

"I should've been there to stop it. _That's_ my job. It was too close Joss. Like always it was too close. I could've lost you-"

"But Baby you _didn't_." She assured, her tone softening at his glassy eyes. She loved this man. "You're just a man. God is the only one who decides when my time is up. Until it is, no matter how close death may come, if it's not my time, either you'll show up, or Fusco, or Finch will get a clue and send you to me. And the rescue will always be just in the nick of time. Okay?" She gave him another kiss. She could see he was taking her words to heart. "You know what I want?"

Joss broke into his thoughts. "What?"

"I want to take a nap while you hold me."

The wish being his command, made John move closer to her. Carefully he wrapped his arm around her shoulder while she snuggled and curled into him. Her palm lay flat against his chest. John dropped a quick kiss to her head closing his eyes. He memorized the feel of her small hand on his heart. The feel of her weight resting against him. The warmth of her body against his side. The light brushing of her toes on his leg. It was perfect. She was here. She _had_ been beaten, but she was not destroyed. Maybe she was right and he did have a little help from higher up after all. And because of it he had one more day to spend with the woman he loved.


	4. Chapter 4 No Interruptions

_Okay this was written waaaaaay back in 2013. But I just now am posting it cuz I finally have the right story to put in with._

John entered the brownstone closing the door behind. Immediately he noticed the lack of light in the apartment and went to reach for the switch.

"No, no, no. Don't do that." He heard Joss saying from behind. Her words immediately stopping him. He turned to see her coming up the hall from the kitchen. "You'll ruin the mood I'm trying to set if you do that." He quickly ran his eyes down the length of her. A lavender long sleeved dress clinging perfectly to her, and matching heels that added at least five inches to her height. He wondered why she was so dressed up when they had no plans of going anywhere.

"What mood is that?" he said recalling her earlier words. She sauntered over to him.

"A romantic dinner for two. Catered by Jocelyn Carter-Reese." In the distance he made out the candlelit kitchen.

"If you were looking for a date night we could've went out for dinner."

"I know," she said stepping closer, her arms climbing up past the lapels of his jacket to rest on his shoulders. The heels making the action less of a struggle. John wrapped his arms around her slim waist. "But I figured why not save the time. All I need is you. Here we have no distractions No interruptions. Taylor's at a friend's house, and Finch has assured me you'll have the night off. And you don't have to share me with anyone else. I'm all yours tonight. So," she played with one of the buttons on his jacket peering up at him, "I hope you're hungry. I slaved over this food so you better enjoy it." She slipped out of his arms holding fast to his hand as she tugged him toward the kitchen.

"Joss that dress. It looks good on you." She glanced back, the male admiration in his eyes making her dimple appear.

"You like it?" She already knew the answer, but turned to see his nod anyhow. "I'm glad. Because I swiped your card when I bought it."

He smiled. "Well the way it looks it was worth every penny." She smirked with pride pulling him the rest of the way.

Dinner went just as Joss wanted it too. She had a moment to have her husband all alone where they could just talk. About anything and everything. From their latest cases, to what they would do on their next anniversary. All during their meal John continually pulled her chair towards his, wanting her closer.

They then moved to the couch still using candles for their light. Joss slipped away to bring their desert which she gracefully placed on the coffee table. She smiled up at him, their gazes locking. She reached for their desert, but John tugged her back to him curling her into his side. His hands cupped her cheeks before shifting to the back of her neck. He kissed her jaw. Joss leaned in closer, partly because he coerced her and partly because she wanted to. He made a trail of kisses over her face, below her ear, and down her neck.

"Don't you want to have desert?" she mumbled.

"What do you think I'm getting right now?" He pulled her onto his lap.

Joss smiled and he shifted to kiss her mouth. He held her precious face in his hand and she mirrored his actions pulling him closer to her. Everything started to disappear around them, but too soon John became distracted when he heard the creaking of the front door. Without breaking contact his hands moved to grab the gun at the back of his waist. Joss however remained calm. Keeping her hands on his face she broke the kiss. A groan escaped her as she leaned down, her head touching his.

"That better not be Taylor Carter," she mumbled threateningly.

Heavy footsteps sounded before the room was brightened with a burst of light. John and Joss sprung a part just as Taylor jumped back. "Whoa! Sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt. Sorry mom. Hey, John."

"Hey, T." John replied slipping the gun back into its hiding place.

Joss sighed. "T, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be at your friend's house. We had a deal. I told you about tonight."

"Yeah, well I forgot something, and I had to come back and get it. Look just don't mind me. Pretend I'm not even here." He flicked off the light again, but unfortunately did not leave the room. He moved to one of the chairs where he had left a jacket and his backpack. He loudly unzipped the bag searching through it. Joss would have thought he was carrying pots and pans around from all the noise he was making. They watched his every move unable to ignore his presence. Feeling their gaze he looked up.

"What?" he asked innocently. "Go, 'head. Go back to kissin'. I'm not here remember?"

"But you _are_ here," Joss assured.

"Mom it's not like it's some big secret. I've seen you two kiss before. And not the little pecks you try to give each other in the morning." John couldn't stop the chuckle. He never knew what the teen would say from one minute to the next. "You're married. You're supposed to act like that."

"Yeah, and you're supposed to not be here." Joss fired back. Giving John a light elbow to the chest to stifle his laughter. The last thing Taylor needed right now was encouragement.

"Okay, I'm gettin' ready to leave." He said picking up the backpack. "It smells really good in here. Can I grab something to eat before I…" When they both gave him a hard glare the question died on his tongue. "Or maybe not. Even John had to give me a look on that one. Okay John, I got it. Mom made the food for you. I can respect that. But can you please save me a little leftovers."

John had to smile. "Okay T. I will."

"You the man. Alright I'm going. Night Mom. Night John."

"Goodnight."

Joss's jaw dropped. "So much for no interruptions. I can't believe-mmm." She didn't get to finish her thought before John brought his mouth on hers. "What are you doing?" She asked a little breathless when he pulled away.

"Picking right up where I left off. We had a few minutes lost. We need to make up for them." Joss grinned wanting to laugh. Again he pulled her close for a kiss that this time went uninterrupted.


	5. Chapter 5 Love Me Back Into the World

_I'm just going to say sorry for any mistakes. I wrote this pretty quick_

John rolled over onto his hands and knees. His fingers flexing against the carpet. He faced his boys, who held similar stances. This was war. John smirked dangerously. They thought they had him. Thought they could wear him out. They figured that their "old man" was really an old man. And no match for their two year old bodies. He would admit, his kids had a lot of energy. _Endless_ energy. But he was fit. Could go days without sleep. Could fight five guys at once and still come out alive. He could handle his two year old sons.

Tommy's lips lifted slightly, a mischievous smile appearing on his face, lifting his puffy cheeks. Tommy had one weakness. He couldn't hide his feelings. Not yet. He was up to something and had a plan in mind. No doubt his brother was in on it. The two had a language of their own. John slid his gaze over. His soft spoken and always calm AJ had a small barely noticeable twinkle in his eye. The only clue that gave way to his confidence. To be so young he was already getting a tight hold on his emotions.

Dad verses sons.

Without warning Tommy darted across the floor, trying to get to base, which in this case was their living room couch. John was on him in a moment, lifting his body up with one arm, while still on his knees. He twisted his son in his hold tickling him and nipping playfully at his arm.

"Dinner at last." He mumbled still nipping. Tommy giggled fighting to get free. Out of his peripheral vision he saw AJ within inches of the couch. Holding tight to Tommy he crossed the floor on his knees. "Oh no you don't." With his free arm he grabbed AJ. "You boys thought you had me." He said in victory as they pushed and kicked trying to get away while fighting their laughter.

John placed them on the floor side by side. He began tickling one, while growling and gnawing at the stomach of the other. This time they kicked and swung their arms, overwhelmed by the tickles. "Remember one thing boys, Daddy _always_ wins."

Joss bit her lip to keep from joining their boys in laughter. Tommy's face was beat red and AJ was nearly in tears. She grinned at seeing her babies so happy. She couldn't imagine life without the two little boys. Had it only been a couple years ago that she was living without them? Being a mom a second time around was just as much fun as the first time. She grinned watching John having seemingly as much fun as the kids.

She loved this side of him. This side that she didn't get to see often. When John had moments like this where he laughed, played, or just enjoyed life it was like she was getting a small peak at the boy her husband had once been. The boy who was not touched with the cruelty of the world. The boy who had not been deceived into thinking that wrong was really right. The boy who was kind, giving, and unburdened by guilt and shame. The boy she never knew. And never had the chance to meet.

That boy however was showing up more and more each day. Somehow the man he had become was finding that boy he had forgotten.

Joss sighed, not really wanting to break up their fun. "Okay fellas, you better calm down. I don't want you to be all tired out before the b-ball game tonight."

AJ and Tommy hearing her voice, strained their necks to look in her direction. They squirmed free from their father's hold and escaped to Joss. "Mommy! Mommy!"

Reaching down she scooped up the first one to reach her, which happened to be AJ. His legs wrapped securely around her waist. Tommy remained on the ground clinging to her leg.

"We probably should get them ready." She said looking at John who was still on his knees, chest rising and falling rapidly. Face slightly flushed. He sighed pushing himself onto his feet. His eyes still carried their playful gleam. As he approached Tommy squealed.

"He goin' get 's!" He squeezed Joss leg while trying to hide behind the limb. His eyes watching his dad with suspicion and excitement. The closer John came the tighter AJ held on. His feet bit into Joss's waist as he buried his little face into her neck whispering, 'he'th comin' he'th comin'." Over and over again.

"Ok guys, Mommy's right." AJ tilted his head to look at John. Hearing the change in his tone. "We need to get ready." He managed to break Tommy away from her leg and pull him into his arms. "We don't want to keep your big brother out of the fun. Right?"

AJ relaxed realizing their game was over. John smiled at their son Tommy before giving him one final little tickle. He tried to cover his stomach with his small hands. "Let's go get ready for the basketball game. Taylor will be here soon." He turned to go but Joss fisted her fingers in his shirt stopping him. His eyes held a question, but she tugged him to her and lay a brief, but firm kiss to his lips.

AJ let out a soft laugh as they closed in forming an odd covering with he and his brother squished in the middle.

Joss broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. She could still see that boy. Still see the John that everyone thought was dead. The John that simply knew how to be happy. For a moment she was a little overwhelmed and extremely thankful to God that she played a part in bringing that boy back to life. Not just her, but all of them. All three of their boys helped and _were_ helping to bring him back.

"What was that for?" he asked. Voice low. Centering in on her with a look that made her feel like she was his everything.

She shrugged. "Just because."

He smirked dipping his head for another kiss. Momentarily forgetting their kids he stepped closer. This time it was Tommy's light tug on his shirt that broke the moment. Pulling apart they looked down at their son.

"Daddy, we go now?"

He smiled and Joss laughed. "Yes we can go." Joss seized his hand as they walked off to their boys' room. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze and he smiled at her looking more alive than ever.


	6. Chapter 6 Meet Me After Dark

Her eyes parted. There it was. That sound. The one she had been waiting for. Stirring Joss looked at a sleeping John. His chest rising and falling heavily. Deep in sleep. She smiled softly glad he finally could have some time to let his body rest. Her hand ran down his face lovingly as she reluctantly left his warm side. He would miss her soon. She was certain. The moment he would try and reach for her and came up empty she knew he would awake from sleep and not drift off again until she returned. Joss hated knowing his rest would be disturbed, but she couldn't stay. She had a date, that she couldn't miss.

Sneaking out of bed she slipped down the hall, passing Taylor's closed door, to the next room. She peeked her head in. Her face instantly breaking out in a grin. There he was. His tiny hands holding on his cradle so he could stand. He gave her a big gummy grin and bounced in place. As she drew closer he grunted eagerly, his bouncing increasing.

"Hey little man. You in here making trouble?"

He giggled, stretching towards her. Joss answered his subtle pleas and picked him up. He grunted and babble fascinated with making sounds. "Hey, hey. Quite down Tommy. You'll wake up your brother." She glanced at AJ who, thanks be to God, was still asleep. He hated being awakened. It made him one fussy boy. "Okay Tommy. One hour. You got one hour for us to have some fun, get you sleepy, and back in bed before my husband finds out I snuck off to be with you," She whispered conspiratorially into his ear before kissing his soft cheek. She worked quickly to change his diaper before grabbing a few of his toys and heading downstairs.

She lowered her son onto the carpet, joining him after she placed the toys around him. She spread her legs on the soft carpet. She grabbed him in her arms laying him on his back as she took his hands. She swayed them back and forth, clapping them together while she sang. He laughed and attempt to sing along. His random hums didn't match the tune, but gave him a joy that was priceless to Joss.

They then switched courses when Joss picked up his soft blue ball and began rolling it to him and he rolled it back. She then put her son to work tossing it across the living room, making him move back and forth to get it. When he pushed it back to her Joss grabbed it hiding it behind her back. "Where'd it go?" She asked showing her son her empty hands. Tommy's face showed concerned. He leaned forward trying to peek behind her. "It's gone," she said trying to convince him.

His possessive instincts kicking in he crawled to her intent on searching her backside to get his ball. Before he could get too close she grabbed the ball from its hiding place and held it out with a surprised face. "Ah! Look! I found it. Go get it Tommy." She tossed it across the room. Joss noticed immediately. His crawl was slower. He had to put more effort into the movement. As he pushed the ball back his head jerked when a couple sneezes escaped his tiny nose.

He looked at her, awaiting some sort of response to the odd reaction of his body. Joss raised her brow. "Wo! Bless you. That was a big one." He blinked eyes getting heavy, clearly no longer wanting to play. "Come here baby." Holding out her arms he crawled to her where he readily collapsed snuggling to her chest. Joss looked down at her son. His brown skin smelled like baby oil. His straight hair lay to his head. He looked so much like her. There was no denying it. His eyes found hers. Blue stared into brown. The one feature that strongly divided them. The one that had been marked by his father. When she looked into Tommy's eyes it was as if she could see John peeking out at her through their son. Their beautiful boy.

She held him closer as he slipped into sleep. It wasn't until her boys were born that she realized how much she missed having a baby in her arms. Tommy didn't care that she wasn't at the prime time for having kids. He didn't care that his father's hair was starting to gray. He still cried for them when he longed to see their faces. Still smiled when they played. He had nothing but love for his parents. And she had nothing, but love for the child she and John had created.

"Well little man it's time for me to take you back to bed," she whispered as she stood heading upstairs after turning off the lights. "You know I'm a little disappointed that you couldn't stay awake to at _least_ say goodnight. We're already being unconvential with me walking _you_ to your room." His only response was a deep sigh.

Placing him in his crib she stole a glance at AJ. She tucked him more securely beneath his blanket. On her way back to her own room she couldn't resist a peak at her oldest son. Taylor was out cold. Easily finding her way in the darkness she returned to her room and stood by the bed looking down.

"I know you're awake." She knew he smiled.

"I woke up after you left." He drew back the covers eager for her to join him.

"John can you do me a favor?" she spoke as she climbed in. "Can you _try_ and stay asleep when I get out of bed?"

He pulled her tightly into his arms. "You should know I do try, Joss. I just can't. Besides why is it you always have to go run off with my son? I think it's time we start teaching Tommy about sharing. He can't keep stealing my wife."

Joss gave him a look of disbelief. " _Tommy_ needs the lesson? Yeah, right. You're the one who needs to not be so possessive."

"You know how much I need you. You're my addiction. Tommy's addiction to you will lessen with time. Until he learns to be independent and finds a woman he loves. But I will always crave you."

"Shut up. I don't want to think about my baby growing up. And stop making excuses for yourself. You Reese men are so demanding on your women."

"You know it." He replied with a smirk, closing his eyes. She felt him relax and rested her head onto his chest. Listening to the steady beat of his heart.

"John."

"Mmm."

"Thank you."

Blinking he looked down at her. "For what?"

She gave him a gentle squeeze. "Everything."

 _Thank you for the reviews. It is so nice to hear what you all think or which stories you like and why. It motivated me to finally post some of the ideas that I have just sitting around in my brain. There will be more coming, I'm just working them all out right now, but I hope to make another update soon._


	7. Chapter 7 Don't Cry Don't Die

She tried to breathe. Something she did every day that suddenly seemed so complex. She held John's hand. It was cold. Her heart lurched. Rubbing his skin, she tried to warm his fingers. Glancing at Finch, she watched him press his expensive suit jacket to the open wound in John's side. Too much blood. He was losing too much blood.

"Just hold on John. Fusco will be here soon." Finch encouraged. John's only reply was a shift of his eyes. Slowly his gaze moved to the woman at his side.

"Joss." The word was soft. Whispery. She looked into his eyes. He was so pale. John saw her worry as their gazes locked. "Kiss me."

Swallowing the lump in her throat she bent down and touched his lips to hers treasuring the softness of the kiss. Finch watched them no longer bothered by their display of affection. He had caught them in many an embarrassing and intimate moment. No longer did he blush at a simple kiss. Instead he was blinking back tears. He couldn't watch John die in front of Joss like this.

Joss bit back a sob as she lifted her head, tears escaping. "Aww Babe," John groaned, even this close Joss strained to hear. John used all his strength to lift his hand and wipe the tears away with his thumb. "You know…hate it…when-when you cry."

She held tightly to his hand. Memorizing the feel of his fingers brushing against her cheek. His eyes were dull and he looked so tired. "Baby, you're scaring me." She forced the words past her lips. "I don't want to lose you."

His eyes softened. "I love you."

That didn't bring her much comfort. It sounded like he was saying goodbye.

"Detective Fusco where are you?!" Finch demanded growing uneasy at the seconds ticking away.

John's head slipped to the side, his eyes closing. Panic and anger replaced Joss's misery. "John! John wake up." He didn't respond. Her voice grew louder. "John! I _said_ wake up." She grabbed his face giving him a light slap. "You aren't dying. Do you hear me! You don't get to leave me John Reese. Now wake up. I said wake up!" A long thirty seconds later his lashes parted and he tried to focus on her.

"That's it baby," She encouraged. "You have to stay awake. You're not dyin' on me. You hear?"

His lips tried to lift. "It's easier…you're not crying."

She rubbed his hand. "Alright. If it'll make it better for you, I won't cry and you won't die. How's that sound?"

A ghost of a smile was on his lips as he gave a barely there nod. "Deal."

Joss let out a whoosh of air when moments later, Fusco entered with the paramedics. John's current cover allowed for the luxury of an ambulance. They lifted him onto the stretcher and into the back of the vehicle. Joss settled in never letting his hand go. She leaned close to him trying to keep his attention. "Now remember John," her voice brooked no room for argument. "We have a deal."

He sighed, his thumb stroked her cheek. "You…won't cry."

She blinked back tears. "And you won't die."


	8. Chapter 8 Date Night

John stood outside in the dark, with Mr. Richard, their latest number. The CEO's long stretched limousine was parked on the street. A light drizzle began to fall from the sky. "Again John, I thank you and your wife. It seems so insignificant, but I appreciate what you've done. I wouldn't have survived losing my daughter."

"We were happy to do it."

"No I mean it. I- I'd love to do something no matter the size, to show my appreciation."

John glanced at the tinted windows of the limo. He faced Mr. Richard again. "Anything?"

….

The door opened making Joss look up as John climbed in. He shut the door. Puzzled she asked, "Where's Richard?"

"His hotel room, meeting up with his daughter."

She frowned. "Why? I thought-"

"He wanted to do us a favor."

"John…" Puzzled, by his pleased face she watched as the limo went dark. A few minutes later John pressed a button and mellow lights came on casting a dim glow in the space. He then opened a small back that was sitting on one of the empty seats. A bag joss had been eyeing. He pulled out a box of chocolates from Richard's company. A special box that hadn't even been presented on the market.

"Sorry this isn't a candlelit dinner, but there's you, me and desert. A partial date night at most." Joss grinned as he slid the sweet into her mouth. "We have the limo and the chauffer at our disposal."

Swallowing Joss got comfortable. She slipped out of her blazer and shoes throwing her legs over John's lap. Ever since they married they tried to have one night a week that was all theirs. No work, no numbers, just them and pure romance. However, the past month conflicting schedules had prevented any romantic dinners or walks in the park.

"I've missed this."

"Me to. I'm sorry things have been so crazy." He ran a hand over her calve.

"It's not all on you. I haven't been available either. My cases have been hectic."

"It's fine."

"Is it?" She questioned as she returned the favor from earlier and slipped a piece of chocolate in his mouth. He looked at her questioningly. Joss lowered her lashes. "We've been married for a little while now. It's ok for you to say if you need something from me."

He directed his gaze to ahead. Reaching out Joss turned his face back. "I'm serious."

"Ok."

She smirked knowingly. "You say it's ok, but I know you. John you're the type who wouldn't say anything even if you did have an issue with me." She hesitated. "I take that back. The only topic that you would speak up on is my safety. Anything else," she shook her head. "You would never mention. You would think you had no right to complain. No right to ask for more because you're already getting more than you thought you ever would. More than what you deserve. And you would go along like everything is fine. When it's not."

He only grabbed another piece of chocolate.

Joss's lips titled upward. "John I know I'm right."

"I thought this was supposed to be our impromptu date right. Shouldn't this be the chance for me to tell you how beautiful you look, or just sit and stare in your eyes."

"Eventually. Date night is really meant to keep our flame alive."

John scoffed. "Trust me Joss. You're the only woman I want. That's not changing."

"I believe you. But that doesn't mean there will never be something I can do to make our marriage better." She sighed. The past few weeks of chaos, and their quick hi's and goodbyes had given Joss plenty of time to reflect. "I've been married before. I've seen what can happen when you stop being honest and open about your needs."

John's chest constructed. She was getting to him.

"I don't want anything to come between us. Anything that…can cause us to resent each other. Or make us forget that we love each other. Okay. I went first. I told you I want you to be more up front with me about what you need. Your turn. Shoot."

"That's all the forewarning I get?"

"That's right. Go."

He searched her eyes his hesitation more than obvious. With a hand he brushed the hair from her face nuzzling her neck. "Now I know there is something that you want to tell me. Nice try John. But you're answering my question." She covered his lips with a finger stopping him. Kissing the finger she held up, he leaned back. She wasn't backing down and he knew it. He became interested in the floor.

"I wish… you would lean on me more."

She remained quiet so he would continue. "I know there are times when you're having a bad day and you want to cry or you're scared, but you don't tell me. You'll be strong and ignore your pain. I want you to let me in all the way. Let me be strong for you. I want you even when you're weak."

He was right. She did hold back. More times than she cared to admit. She was trying, but there were times that she did cut him out. Brushing aside her feelings because she didn't want to have to lean on anyone but herself. "Why was it so hard for you to admit that? Even though it's true?"

"Because I know why you do it." He said guilty. "I could die at any moment. You don't want to get used to depending on me. You don't want to forget what it's like to be alone. You want to be prepared in case you lose me."

Again he was right. "Sometimes old habits die hard. I'll admit, holding on to some level of independence, responding to life at times the way I used to, before you came into my life, gives me a false confidence. Makes me believe that if I do lose you, I won't be destroyed. But John I do dangerous work too. HR was proof that you could lose me. However, in spite of that, you don't hold back from loving me. You let yourself fall more every day. I don't have any excuse not to do the same."

"What changed? Things were getting better. I felt that you were trying. And then about a month ago you started shutting down again."

Joss licked her lips. "The Murphy number."

John closed his eyes instantly understanding. "I'm sorry Joss. I swear to you; I'm being more careful. That's why I did what I did that day. I knew it was under control."

"Was it?"

"Yes. I was wearing a vest and Fusco was covering me from the roof."

Joss stared at him her brow pinching. "He was?"

"Yes. In case he got too close, Fusco was ready to take him down."

Joss was touched. The whole time she thought John had ran into a suicide mission, but he had taken a few extra minutes to consider her feelings and to be a little more cautious.

He cupped her cheeks. "I told you I'm being careful."

Leaning forward Joss gave him a long deep kiss. When she finally pulled away she rested her head against his. "See what happens when you're honest. I can reward you."

With a smirk he gave her a brief kiss, before pulling away. He placed the box of chocolates on the empty seat. "I wanted another one," Joss protested.

"It'll be there." His voice was low, his eyes looking deep into hers. Cradling her back and head John eased her down until her back was against the seat. He slid down beside her letting his arm drape over the side of her head, so he could look down at her as he brushed the hair from her face.

"What else John?"

"Else?"

"I know there is something else you want from me. Say it."

John wondered how she would react if he said what was truly on his mind. That he wanted to make a child with her. He loved Taylor like his own son, but Taylor's biological father was in the picture and he would never truly be his. He would never call him dad. And John had missed out on a life time of important events with Taylor. But with Taylor almost grown, would Joss want to star over?

He couldn't tell her. Not yet.

"John."

He caressed her cheek. "Maybe some other day. Let's take it one step at a time. I made one confession tonight. Can we work with that for now?"

Joss knew whatever he was holding back was important. She could tell by the look in his eyes. "Promise you'll tell me."

"Promise." He smothered any other words she would have said with a kiss.

….

Henry, the chauffer answered the ringing phone. "Yes sir?"

"How are our guests enjoying their time alone?"

Henry rolled down the partition that blocked the back of the limo. A smile creeped onto his face as he saw the man a woman wrapped in each other arms making out. He slipped the partition up. "Sir. They seem to be enjoying themselves immensely."

"Excellent. Please bring them back at their request."

"Yes sir." They disconnected. With his hands on the wheel Henry chuckled to himself. The image of John and Joss replaying in his mind.

 _I didn't anticipate the turns this one had. I originally meant for it to be just a fluffy one-shot of John and Joss getting an impromptu date, but when Joss started talking I just kept writing unsure of where it was going to go. It turned into them having the conversation and I decided to go with the change._


	9. Chapter 9 Music in Me

John lowered his body onto the plaid blanket laying on the wooden floor. He had just showered and changed for bed, knowing he wouldn't be going to sleep any time soon. Settling across from Joss he eyed her. The fire burned casting a glow on her smooth skin. Her hot pink silk pajama pants left her calves and ankles exposed. The thigh high matching robe was tied at her waist. She looked refreshed, her focus on the laptop in front of her. He confessed he preferred her attention be on him. He had his own plans for their first night alone.

Crossing her legs, she handed him the iPad, one brow arched challengingly. John returned the look with an equally challenging half smile. They had just finished protecting a number, who besides having been an old college friend of Harold's, was also a marriage counselor. He was so grateful for their help and protection that he gave them the keys to enjoy and weekend at his log cabin to celebrate their anniversary. The cabin really couldn't be considered that since it was a five-bedroom home fully furnished. In addition to the getaway he gave them a special game he used on the couples he was counseling.

Joss and John didn't know all that the game entailed but one rule was made known from the beginning. During the game there was to be no talking. Whatsoever.

Pushing the start button Dr. Macpherson's voice came through the speakers from the computer. "Good evening Mr. and Mrs. Reese. The game in which you are about to part take in is meant to cause you to communicate without opening your mouths. And what better way to communicate than with show tunes."

Joss's face fell. She shared a look with John. Did he just say show tunes? "Musicals tend to bring a new life to words. The object of this game is to reach down and to choose songs that express the debts of your emotions or express things that sometimes may go unsaid in your marriage. It is meant to bring a better understanding of each other and even to make you laugh.

I will simply ask a question, alternating between the two of you, and you will reply by picking a song from a musical that you feel best expresses your answer. It is okay if you don't know the songs or films being used. Harold offered a special feature allowing you to see the lyrics if you find it necessary."

The recording paused and the computer brought up a new screen giving them the option to start the questions or rehear the instructions. Joss pushed the start button.

"Let's begin. This first question will be for both of you. Jocelyn if you will answer first. What were your first thoughts after getting married?"

Joss watched her iPad. Seconds later her options appeared. She skimmed the selection, a smile tugging on her face. With a sigh she made her choice and waited for Jamie Fox and Quvenzhane Wallis's voices.

 _Together at last, together forever_

 _We're tying the knot, they never can sever_

 _I don't need sunshine now to turn my skies to blue,_

 _I don't need anything but you_

Joss chuckled thinking how ridiculous it would've been if she and John had broke out singing after saying I do.

John smiled at her. She knew from his face he didn't recognize the song, but he appreciated the lyrics. When the song fade John looked down. His face was blank as he stared at the bright screen. She could see his questioning gaze. John didn't recognize the songs and was unsure about which to pick. He took a few extra minutes to review the lyrics until he found the words that were the perfect fit.

 _Say you'll share with me one love one lifetime_

 _Say the word and I will follow you_

 _Share each day with me each night each morning_

 _Anywhere you go let me go too_

 _Love me that's all I ask of you_

Looking into John's eyes she gave him a soft smile, the words of the song still lingering in the room and her mind. John was going to get her to cry before the game was up. She just knew it. She blew him a kiss from where she sat. Winking John pushed the button so they could continue.

"This next question will be for you Mrs. Reese. You are a very strong and independent woman. It's obvious John needs you, but what made you realize you needed him?"

Joss's brow pinched in thought. This was a step above the last question to be sure. She hoped her choices were good. The screen shifted with new options. Joss felt John's eyes on her. She knew he was eager for her answer.

Instantly her mind and heart connected with one song that appeared. Not only did she recognize the tune from the movie _Polly_ , but she loved the song. And it said everything that she would say herself. John waited nervously and then Phylicia Rashad's voice came over the speakers.

 _Don't tell me how love can slip through your hands_

 _Don't ask me what I'm waiting for_

 _Don't make me feel, like I'm missing the chance, the chance to have something more_

 _Something more could only get confusing_

 _And I would just risk losing everything I've got_

 _Something more, like someone to belong to_

 _Or someone to hold on to_

 _Might change me into something that I'm not_

 _I might become that someone I forgot_

Joss sighed. She had made the right chose. God was her witness; she had not wanted to fall for John Reese. He made her feel things she had forgotten to feel. Made her want things she was afraid to want. She saw John swallow uneasily. Saw the surprise and humility written on his face. So often he felt that he was the one getting the best end of the bargain. Boy was he wrong. Reaching out he placed a hand on her knee. Before he could get too distracted Joss pointed indicating that he should take his turn.

"Thank you for patiently waiting Mr. Reese. Now to your question. Pick a song that best describes your feelings and thoughts when you first met your lovely wife?"

When the songs came up John once more found a list that he didn't recognize. He referred to the lyrics. Joss's head tilted in curiosity when she saw the satisfaction in John's eye. Then she heard the music.

 _I know that something has changed_

 _Never felt this way_

 _And right here tonight_

 _This could be the start of something new_

 _It feels so right to be here with you_

 _And now looking in your eyes_

 _I feel in my heart, the start of something new_

Joss laughed outright when the song first started. Whose idea was it to use songs from _High School Musical_? John probably had no idea where the song even originated. But yet it was perfect. She that moment in the precinct had to have been something powerful for John. He had to have felt some sort of connection. That moment set this man on her path never to leave again. Leaning over the computer she couldn't resist placing a kiss on his cheek. He reached to grab her for a real kiss, but she slipped out of his grip.

Sitting back down she made ready for her turn. "Mrs. Reese from our conversation I gathered that there were many risks you took on to be with Mr. Reese. You even mentioned a few times, prior to your romantic involvement that you almost walked away from your association with John. What caused you to come back? Why were you never able to break away?"

Joss knew the answer, but to put it into song. She wanted to scoff at the choices. However, one did fit. It fit better than she wanted it to. She rolled her eyes knowing how corny this was going to be.

John's laugh rumbled through his chest. He recognized Olivia Newton-John's voice. Finally, a song and movie he could place.

 _My head is saying, fool forget him_

 _My heart is saying, don't let go_

 _Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do_

 _I'm hopelessly devoted to you…_

 _I'm out of my head, hopelessly devoted to you_

 _I'm hopelessly devoted to you_

 _I'm hopelessly devoted to you_

John blinked. The humor leaving. He recalled all that Joss had done for him. Every risk. When she tried to leave after Sysmanski, but let him back in. Then when she threw herself into trying to rescue him from the FBI. And of course, when she refused to leave him, knowing he could be blown to bits by a bomb vest. She had fallen just as hard for him as he had for her. And nearly just as soon. Grabbing her hand he brought it to his mouth so he could kiss her knuckles. Turning her hand over, he kissed her palm then moved lower to her wrist.

"Joh-"

He held a finger to his lips reminding her they weren't supposed to talk. Humor danced in his eyes. Joss pressed her lips together. She knew John's interest was quickly slipping from the game. She tried to take her hand back, but his grip remained firm. However, he did push the button for the next question.

"Mr. Reese I couldn't help but notice you are somewhat… shall I say beholden to your wife. You place her on a pedestal. Please explain the reason for this. What has she done for you that has created that pedestal in your mind?"

John had a song in his mind instantly. He waited hoping the song he wanted would pop up. He breathed when he found it among the list. Making his decision he watched Joss's face needing to see her reaction.

 _Perhaps I had a wicked childhood_

 _Perhaps I was a miserable youth_

 _But somewhere in my youth or childhood_

 _I must have done something good_

 _For here you are standing here loving me_

 _Whether or not you should_

Joss's eyes grew watery.

 _Nothing comes from nothing_

 _Nothing ever could_

 _So somewhere in my youth or childhood_

 _I must've done something good_

Joss jaw worked. John knew tears were near. Before she could respond he hit another button. Joss looked up confused when another song started to play. John prompted her to listen not wanting her to miss the rest of his answer.

 _And at last I see the light and it's like the fog has lifted_

 _And at last I see the light and it's like the sky is new_

 _And it's warm and real and bright and now the world has somehow shifted_

 _All at once everything looks different now that I see you_

A tear escaped and she held a hand over her heart. John couldn't be happier at her reaction

He couldn't resist. He once protected a little girl who had an obsession with the film _Tangled_. And made him watch the movie with her. When the scene came where they sang the song, she had asked John if he knew how Rapunzel and Eugene felt. When he thought on the lyrics only one woman came to mind. And so he had entertained the girl with stories about a beautiful woman name Jocelyn that he loved the way Eugene loved Rapunzel. Since then the song had always stuck with him. And he had never had a reason to bring it up, until now.

Crawling over to him Joss settled at his side. Pulling his head down for a kiss. He wrapped her eagerly in his arms. As he made to deepen the kiss, Joss's hand reached to push the continue button. John groaned in protest.

"For some reason Harold, who was present when I prepared this game for you, seemed to be under the impression that at this point I would be interrupting you. And that I should wrap things up. I don't know if I should be offended in your losing interest in my game or delighted that it has perhaps sparked a yearning for each other and a desire for some private time in which you may share your love in a way only the two of you can."

John nibbled Joss's ear his arms tightening on her waist. Giggling Joss reached up splaying her hands in his hair.

"Assuming the latter is true I dare not try your patience. I will simply ask one more question that will require both of you to answer. Please do not make a choice, based on what you think the other will pick. If you have two different songs, they will simply play one right after the other. So I bid you goodnight in advance as I ask the final question.

Mr. and Mrs. Reese when you think of your future together, what one thought comes to mind?"

Lazily they looked at their screens. Songs and lyrics appeared. They both grinned instantly knowing their choice.

 _All I wanna do is be with you, be with you_

 _There's nothing we can't do_

 _I just want to be with you, only you_

Pushing aside the iPads Joss locked her hands arund John's neck. She laughed into the kiss and so did he as the song played. It was corny. It was juvenile, but it said everything. Falling onto the pillows and blanket they continued to show their love without talking amidst the roaring fire and the fading song.

 _No matter where life takes us_

 _Nothing can break us apart, you know it's true_

 _I just want to be with you_

 **I had so much fun writing this! I hope you enjoyed it the way I did. I listed all the songs and movies. Of course none of which belong to me. I didn't list the lyrics in the exact order in which they are in the movies. I had to shift some around slightly to better fit the story and include the parts I wanted. Thanks for reading and the reviews! It is always great to hear what you think. It motivates me to write more.**

 **"** **Something New" "All I wanna Do" High School Musical**

 **"** **Something More" Polly**

 **"** **Together At Last" Annie 2014**

 **"** **Hopelessly Devoted" Grease**

 **"** **All I Ask of You" Phantom of the Opera**

 **"** **At Last I see the Light" Tangled**

 **"** **Something Good" Sound of Music**


	10. Chapter 10 Sleepless

4pm _"_ _Hey John baby. Hope you get this message. I won't be home tonight. Fusco and I have to stake out a suspect. And don't forget Taylor won't be home either. He's with his dad. I hope we can wrap up before dawn, but you know how these things go. Love you. Try and get some rest."_

10:30pm

John stared at the ceiling. This wasn't working. He looked to the air occupied space at his side. Every time he closed his eyes and started to sleep, he would automatically reach for her, only to come up empty. With each vain attempt, he would awaken with a fresh longing for his wife.

How did he ever sleep without her? The room felt so barren. Cold.

John sat up. This was useless.

Grabbing the comforter and his pillow he left the room. The couch was a welcome sight. He stretched his long body against the cushions and closed his eyes. And saw her face. A face he hadn't seen in hours.

Was she okay? She mentioned a stake out. Who was the suspect? He tried turning onto his side. What if she needed him? What if something happened and he never saw her again?

Great! Now he was paranoid! This was enough. John grabbed his phone.

"Finch, what's Joss' location?"

….

From the passenger seat, Joss kept her eye fixed on the brownstone occupied by their suspect. The night had been quiet save for the few guests who dropped by to visit. Each face, holding a name worth remembering.

Fusco took a drink from his coffee. "Given the shady figures that have been in and out that door, this guy definitely had something to do with Gleason's murder."

"Mm-hm. I knew it. Saw right through that little baby face he wore in the interrogation room. Man's guilty as sin. And we're gonna prove it."

They both were surprised to hear the click of the locks, followed by the backdoor opening.

"John!" Joss yelled at seeing her husband, sliding in, wearing black sweats and matching pullover hoodie. "What are you doing here?"

"You think you could give someone a warning Wonderboy before you decide to join the party? It's a good thing we were ready to ask first and shoot later."

Carter turned in her seat. "John, you didn't answer me."

"I couldn't sleep."

In a blink her eyes softened. "Did you try the couch?"

"It didn't help."

Her heart constricted.

"Why not just pop a sleeping pill?" Fusco shrugged.

"John and meds. Yeah, that's never going to happen," Joss mumbled to her partner without breaking contact with John. "You should be home, trying to sleep."

"Joss, I tried. I can't. Might as well be here with you. I haven't seen you all day." _I missed you._

The corners of her mouth lifted. She had missed him too. Although neither would say it. Not in front of Fusco. They tried to tone down their emotional displays around the others.

"You know when you two look at each other like that you might as well be neckin'. It's just as bad."

"Just watch your suspect Lionel." Reese warned.

Still watching him, Joss touched her fingers to her lips. With the same two fingers, she placed them against his mouth. He soaked her in, knowing she was glad to see him. He also saw the spark of excitement in her eye, no doubt for the suspect she was about to catch. As she withdrew John grabbed her hand planting a kiss to her palm. He would never get enough of this woman, he thought kissing her hand again. Lips lingering. "I hope you can get comfortable back there."

"I'll be fine." He released her hand, relaxing into the seat. Joss went back to watching the suspect. Another face on the wanted list walked to the door.

"I get the feeling, once we catch this guy, we'll get to take in a few others with him." Joss said with a smug smile. Another ten minutes passed before her thoughts returned to the man in the back seat. She wondered if John had eaten anything. It was no secret, he didn't take the best care of himself. Especially when she hadn't been around. Joss glanced at the paper bag that held the last uneaten sandwich from her dinner.

"John," Joss turned and the words died on her tongue. His eyes were shut and the top half of his body had awkwardly fallen onto the seat.

"He's out cold Carter." Fusco said glancing at him through the rearview mirror.

Joss couldn't stop her smile. He would probably wake up with several aches and pains. But knowing he was more comfortable in a cramped back seat _with_ her, than their soft large bed _without_ her, warmed her heart. She touched his leg lovingly. The man didn't even flinch.

"Unbelievable. Around you, the dark knight turns into a cuddly puppy. Every time."

She grinned throwing Fusco a look. "Whatever you do, don't let my _cuddly_ _puppy_ ever hear you say that."


	11. Chapter 11 Fine and Mine

Being with someone who was dangerously attractive could be tricky. Especially when he gathered a flock of admirers everywhere he went.

Joss' shoulders rose and fell with a breath. She stood near the door of the restaurant, spotting John at a small table. Just a couple tables down sat two women. One in her thirties the other in her twenties. Both starstruck by the man sitting all by himself at the small table. They sat waiting to catch his eye, whispering to each other, no doubt trying to determine if they would go over and speak to the out-of-this-world fine man just several feet away.

A small laugh bubbled in Joss's stomach. John's many admirers used to threaten her. Made her insecure knowing that John would always have an offer to go outside their marriage. Sometimes in their early days after 'I do' it made her worry that he would seek the comforts of another woman, if an argument got too heated, or if she remained too spirited.

But those worries ceased just as quickly as they came. She couldn't worry or doubt. Not when John came home to her every night. He still climbed into their bed, even when they were at odds. He smothered her in sleep, insisting they have as much physical contact as possible, even while they rested.

She watched him take a sip of his water, while looking out the window. The glass touched his lips. Lips that still kissed _her_ with a passion of a man who had been without a woman for twenty years. Lips that always expressed his love for her.

She smirked admiring the man she called her husband. He did look good. Good enough did eat.

She surveyed the women. Their hair sleek and styled. Cute knee high dresses fit to their slim figures, and three and half inch heels covered pedicured feet. It was a far cry from her heeled boots, gray slacks and matching blazer. The only change she had made was removing her ponytail so her curls could toss around her face. She wasn't as young as the women. And her body had seen better days. Especially before giving birth to the babies John had impregnated her with. But when she woke up each morning, it was _her_ face, that John stared at with a smile. Her face that he caressed with awe. _She_ was the woman he couldn't get enough of.

With a growing smile she picked up her feet passing the flirty women, who she knew still hadn't paid her existence any mind. Their eyes remained glued to John. As Joss approached John looked up. His eyes lit with excitement as his gaze roamed over her from head to toe. He stood before she reached the table and pulled her to him.

The women gawked in awe, staring briefly at each other before returning to the scene unfolding.

They pulled away, but John held her face for a kiss. He lingered and Joss was forced to give his chest a gentle push to force them a part, needing him to remember they were in public. With a knowing look, he pulled out her chair, waiting until she sat before he returned to his seat.

He grabbed her hand, the one that graciously flaunted her wedding ring. Joss could practically hear the shattering of the hearts of the women.

Their waitress came, her shock at the woman who finally joined the handsome loner, appeared on her face before she could correct the look. After they gave her their orders her feet remained rooted in their place.

"Are you his wife?" she asked hesitantly, watching Joss carefully.

Unbelievable, even the waitress was under his spell, Joss thought before smiling coyly. "Yes, I am."

"Oh. Well, you two make a lovely couple. How'd you get so lucky?"

Joss opened her mouth, but John spoke in her stead. "You should be asking me that." The waitress' gaze shifted only to see that John's eyes were fixed on Joss. "I didn't deserve her." He shrugged. "I still don't. But she puts up with me. And still hangs around." He kissed her knuckles. "Like I said I'm the lucky one."

Smiling the waitress ducked her chin. "I'll be right back with your order." She said softly even though it was obvious the couple no longer noticed her presence.

Hands still joined, Joss stroked the back of John's strong hand with her thumb, staring into the eyes that held so much love for her. Yeah, she didn't need to waste time being jealous. One look in his eyes made it clear that John had no problem letting the world know he belonged to her.

 _I got this idea last night and wrote it this morning. I am working on more stories, but I've refrained from posting just yet because I want the story to be mostly complete before I posting, but I plan to have more coming. Thanks to all who read and review!_


	12. Chapter 12 A Promise is A Promise

**I know it's been a while, I've been really busy and although I've had many ideas I haven't sat down to complete anything. I finally got one done. Thanks again for all the reviews**

The tires rolling against the crushing snow gave one final protest before the jerking and sliding game to a stop. John's body lurched to one side falling against the arm rest, while Joss barely kept her head from slamming against the window from the impact.

Pausing for a moment, John took a breath and pushed his body upward. He sought Joss's hand with his, ignoring the discomfort the action caused his arm. "Babe, you okay?"

Joss lay a hand to her head willing the spinning in her brain to stop.

"Babe," John called again, panic rising in his voice.

"I'm fine," she rushed to assure prying her eyes open. "What about you? How's your arm?"

His attempt at a shrug caused a wince. "It's just a flesh wound."

Joss pursed her lip in doubt, but seeing he hadn't bled through his coat she considered he might be right. "You should've let me drive."

"I'm fine."

"I can't believe it. It wasn't enough for the guy to take a shot you, he had to run us off the road."

"You have your phone?"

"Why?" Joss questioned even as she grabbed the device.

"To call Finch."

"What happened to your phone?"

"I lost it in the fight."

"Well be careful. My battery's low. I want there to be enough power for Finch to track us."

"Finch."

 _"_ _Mr. Reese."_ _Finch let out a breath._ _"Is everything alright. Is the detective with you?"_

"Yes Finch. We're fine. Within reason."

 _"_ _Explain."_

"The car's in a ditch, it won't start, we're down a phone, and the one we've got has a low battery."

It didn't escape Joss's notice that John omitted the small detail of his injury.

 _"_ _Are you in further danger of an attack?"_

"No. Our number got what he wanted. Us out of the way."

 _"_ _Excellent. Be patient, I will send Detective Fusco and Ms. Shaw to your aid. Hold tight."_

Disconnecting John handed the phone back to Joss. A comfortable silence settled over the vehicle as they watched the snow continue to fall against the windshield.

"It's getting cold already." Joss mumbled running a hand over her arm. "I have a blanket in the trunk. I'm going to go get it."

"I'll get it for you."

She scoffed in response. "Uh no you won't. You've been shot, drove with a bad arm, and we just crashed into a ditch. I can handle walking through a few feet of snow for a blanket. Be back."

Biting back his protest, John let her go, counting the seconds until she returned.

When the door opened again, she shivered as she slipped back into her seat, eyes stinging from the icy wind. "Burr. I hope Finch gets here soon. Here take some." She didn't want for a response as she spread the blanket over their bodies.

John gave the blanket a curious look. "How'd a blanket get in the trunk?"

"Huh. How soon they forget. You have to remember. I'm in full mommy mode now. I've got everything in that trunk besides extra arsenal. Blankets, pull ups, snacks. Flashlight, Band-Aids… I can't risk getting stranded somewhere with my babies without being properly prepared."

A corner of John's mouth lifted, but flattened just as quickly. "Kids. Babe what time is it?"

The alarm in his voice hooked her attention. "Why?"

John groaned slamming his fist against the steering wheel. "I promised I'd call them tonight. I need your phone again."

Her arched brow, arched higher. "Wha- did you forget that my phone is almost dead?" With his good arm he reached over, searching her pockets for the phone. "John-"

"I promised." He settled back into his seat, holding his prize.

"They're kids. Toddlers. I think they'll forgive you for one unintentionally broken promise. Keeping that promise just might kill us if that phone goes dead and Finch can't track us."

"All the more reason to call. If we do die, they'll remember us keeping a promise."

"I think they'd prefer we just come home alive." Joss grumbled to the window.

Wincing, John lifted his bad arm to gently place his hand over hers, beneath the blanket. "We'll be fine."

Once the phone started ringing he pushed the speaker button, waiting until he heard Taylor's voice on the other end.

 _"_ _Hello?"_

"Taylor."

 _"_ _Hold on one second."_

The speaker crackled and popped as Taylor shuffled around. When he returned he was slightly breathless. _"Here they are. Guys guess who it is."_

"Hi Tommy and AJ."

 _"_ _It's Daddy!"_ High shrieked squeals pierced the small space of the car, forcing Joss to plug one ear, but didn't stop a smile from spreading across her face.

"Hi boys."

 _"_ _Daddy, it snow."_

"I know Tommy. I saw the snow too."

 _"_ _Where's Mommy?"_

"Mommy's right here AJ."

The phone was turned Joss's way. "Hi baby," she greeted and she could practically see the grin on his face.

 _"_ _Mommy!"_

 _"_ _Hi,"_ Tommy interjected loudly.

"You boys being good for your brother?" Joss questioned a touch of warning in her tone.

 _"_ _Yes."_ They answered sweetly.

John tilted the phone back his way. "What are you boys doing?"

AJ answered. _"We watch Ba'man."_

"The cartoon version I hope."

 _"_ _No worries Mom. Taylor's theater only shows G-Rated films."_

"Thank you."

"Listen boys Mommy and I have to go. Be good for your brother. We love you."

 _"_ _Say love you to Mommy and Daddy,"_ Taylor prompted.

"Love you!"

 _"_ _So when you guys gonna be home?"_ Taylor's voice lowered, and the kids could now be heard playing in the background.

John and Joss shared a look before Joss answered. "As soon as we can."

"Hey Taylor thanks again for watching the boys. I owe you."

 _"_ _It's no prob. I love hangin' with them anyway. Are you sure you guys are ok?"_

"Yes. We're just waiting on Finch. We had a few delays."

 _"_ _Hmm. Yeah, John I know what that means."_

"Taylor baby don't worry about us we'll be fine. But if you need anything call your grandma. Or if you must, call your dad."

Taylor snickered. _"Uh did you forget Mom, my dad's with you."_

Joss blinked, her brain slowly making sense of her son's words. Her gazed locked suddenly on John. He stared hard into the phone, as if he could conjure up an image of the teen through his stare. She could see the doubt, the unbelief and other unnamed emotions fighting for dominance in his eyes.

Joss' eyes stung and this time it was not caused by the cold. She knew Taylor would never comprehend what those words meant to John.

"I was referring to your other father. The one who gave you your last name."

 _"_ _Oh!"_ Taylor replied intentionally playing dumb. _"Mom you should be more specific. You really can confuse a kid."_

"You're right. I'm sorry."

 _"_ _See you guys soon. Love you."_

"Love you too," they said together.

The phone beeped, signaling Taylor had hung up, leaving them again in silence.

"Did you put him up to that?" John questioned on a whisper.

Joss scoffed. "What do you think? I know my son. He meant that. You're a good father John. To _all_ of them. You're just going to have to accept it."

With his gaze fixed on the falling snow, John rested his head against the seat. "I just wish…I could give them more."

Braving the chill, Joss's hand reached out to caress the edges of John's hair. "You've given them plenty," she assured softly. "You keep your promises, no matter how small. To kids that means everything." Her shoulders lifted in a sigh. "You were right to call them." Her hand returned under the blanket to hold his.

"So are you saying to be a good father, all I have to do is keep my promises?"

"I'm saying that's what they'll remember. And believe they _will_ remember."

Slowly he nodded before squeezing her hand.


	13. Chapter 13 Fear

_Thank you for all the reviews. I love reading them and appreciate you taking the time to leave a thought! This next piece takes place before Tommy and AJ come along. Also if you have read Chapter 8 Date Night, keep in mind John and Joss's conversation in the limo while reading this chapter._

Back flat against the mattress, head sunken into the thick pillow, the cover drawn up to her chest and arms resting on top. The room was quiet save for Joss's heavy breathing. She fingered her wedding ring, staring at the ceiling. John's text assured he would be home tonight. After a three day absence of working on the latest number, he would finally be able to return home. She just wasn't sure when.

Joss ran her hand down the sheet smoothing imaginary wrinkles. Her skin glowed from the oil she used after her shower. A few dabs of jasmine perfume had been placed perfectly on her neck and wrists. Just enough to tickle John's senses. Her eyes assessed the new silk nightgown she had purchased a week ago, but had yet to wear. The thin straps kept her cool and the silk felt good against her skin. She decided to put the gown to use, after she received John's text. She hoped to make herself pretty for him.

Assuming he would be her only visitor tonight.

The thought sent the small nugget of worry in the back of her mind spiraling out of control. she licked her lips. Mouth dry. Chill bumps broke out down her arms, but she refused to bring the cover up higher. She drew in a slow deep breath trying to still her fast beating heart.

She wished John would come in. Now. More than she wanted her next breath. Normally she could handle not seeing her husband for a few days. But today, today had been rough. A day where she only wanted him to come to their bed and into her arms. To forget the world. Forget everything.

Clutching his pillow, she blinked back tears. Any minute now. Any minute now.

The light thunk of the front door opening had her both sighing in relief and breaking into a cold sweat. She didn't draw breath for the six minutes it took for the entering body to climb the stairs and walk into the bedroom. Quietly she listened, her fingers inches from the gun hidden beneath the pillow.

Her trembling stopped as she recognized the familiar pattern of soft steps. It _was_ John.

She felt him pause and knew he was looking towards the bed. Then he was on the move again. Seconds later a drawer opened and closed. Silence. Joss swallowed her disappointment when she heard him enter the bathroom and start a shower.

 _Just give him time. He needs a moment to unwind._ He would be out soon enough. At least he was home.

The minutes ticked by until the shower stopped and finally the door opened. His feet carried him to the bed, where he stood watching.

Joss still hadn't turned to reveal she was awake. She lay there able to smell the steam from his shower and another smell that was his pure aroma.

"You're not asleep." It wasn't a question.

"No." Her head shifted, looking up at him in the dark room. "I've been waiting for you." Eager to touch him she reached out.

John felt the light tremble in her fingers the second she secured his hand in her grip. He followed her lead as she pulled him down, almost frantically, beneath the covers.

Soft palms cupped his cheeks. "I missed you," she whispered, and followed with a kiss.

Although his body thrilled at her nearness after three long days apart, his mind made him hesitate at her strange behavior. He pulled away.

"Are you okay?"

Her pause was answer enough. "I told you, I just missed you. Three days is a long time." She kissed him again, moving to his cheek, followed by his jaw, her hands urgently pulling him closer. Now that he was here Joss wanted to lose herself in his arms. Forget the world and every threat it held.

"What about you?" She questioned between kisses, "Any injuries?"

"None," He kept his eyes open, refusing to stop his observation. After a few more seconds ticked by, John encased her wrists stopping her show of affection. "Joss. What's wrong?"

Swallowing, her gaze dropped to their joined hands, before lifting quickly. "No questions John. Not now. Please." Her chin quivered. "Baby please." The words whispered against his lips forced him to lay his suspicions and questions aside. In time she would confess what was bothering her. For now she needed a distraction. So he would give her a distraction.

Sometime later they lay together on their backs, Joss's head resting against his chest. John's trailed his fingers up Joss's arm and over her bare shoulder.

"Are you going to tell me what was bothering you?"

He felt her stiffen against him and a long stretch of silence followed.

"It was nothing. Just a case." He waited, silently letting her know he was not satisfied with her answer.

Joss blinked forcing herself to continue. "They…caught a man following me. I only found out because he pulled out a knife, behind my back. One of the officers on duty in the neighborhood caught it and tackled him before he could… you know."

"Who is he?" John ground out.

She avoided answering that question. "After they brought him in for questioning we found out he had been following me for three days. I guess I just wasn't paying much attention. I can't believe I let my guard down like that. He even knew where I lived." She licked dry lips. "It scared me. He knew so much about me, and I wasn't even aware of what was happening." Turning, she lay her cheek against his heart, draping her arm across his waist. "I just wanted you home."

"I can take care of him-"

"Don't. There's no need. You're home now. Everything's fine." Closing her eyes, she felt her body finally relax.

Her words sliced through the cold blackness that slowly was calculating his next move. "Jocelyn."

"Hmm?"

"You just leaned on me."

She heard the smile in his voice. "Yeah. I did." She whispered softly placing a kiss to his heart. "I need you to be strong for both of us tonight. I…I can't do it. Not tonight."

He knew how hard it was for to admit that simple truth. But knowing she came to him instead of putting on a brave front made him feel better despite the bad news she had given him. His arms wrapped more securely around her, his fingers gracing the soft skin on her neck. At last she had let him come to her rescue.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes John. I am. I really am."


	14. Chapter 14 Heat

_If two lie together, then they have heat,_ Eccl 4:11

John's feet couldn't carry him to the door quick enough. He was cold to the bone after hours in the wind and snow, chasing a number with the brain of a spoiled rich two year old. Unlocking the door, he unleashed one final cloud of breath before sliding inside.

The drastic change in temperature brought a gruff cough from his throat. He sniffed, tugging off his coat and his body involuntarily shivered. The chills were trying to creep on him again. He could feel it.

He had returned to work too soon.

Joss had urged him to stay in one more day, at the very least. Instead of taking caution to her words, he rushed out. Determined to prove a cold and fever, no matter how bad, would not keep him down. However, a few hours in the single digit weather did nothing, except prove that Joss had been the one right. Although he finished the case successfully, he felt weak, distracted, and physically vulnerable the entire time. All he wanted now was to curl up beside Joss, and let her warm him.

He kicked of his shoes while he started unbuttoning his jacket. Although the thought of lying beside her was strong, he knew he didn't deserve such a privilege. It wouldn't be fair for her to have to deal with his freezing body, after she had asked him not to leave in the first place. No. Before he joined her, he would at least warm himself.

Feeling slightly unsettled, he rounded the wall towards the living room and stopped. His heart gave a hard thump at the sight before him. Under the glow of the television and dim light from the Christmas tree, Joss lay on the couch with a heavy comforter draped over her small body. She had pulled one corner back in invitation for him to join her. The small smile on her face was not a figment of his imagination. In spite of his blatant disregard to her earlier warning, she waited up for him. She not only waited, but prepared herself to take care of him upon his return.

John sighed, completely mystified. She always managed to turn up just when he needed her. Even in the simplest of ways. He couldn't believe he once functioned without having this kind of love in his life.

The chills started to overtake his body as he continued standing there, staring at her. Joss waved him over, noticing his trembling. Obediently he crossed the room and slipped beneath the thick blanket, straight to her. It took several moments of shifting for Joss to securely wrap him in her arms, in a way that would quickly pass her body heat onto him. Once situated they relaxed against each other.

John kissed her cheek and let his eyes wander to the television, where the yearly special of "It's A Wonderful Life" played. Warmth started to snake its way down to his cold stiff bones. In that moment as she held him and as sleep started to beckon, he became overwhelmed with gratefulness. He snuggled closer to Joss, fighting now to stay awake. Wanting to treasure and prolong every precious moment they had to lie together instead of alone. Engulfed in their heat.

 _So I still feel guilty for the delayed posts with Make Another Wish and I thought I'd try to make up for it with a post in this story since it's been a while. This idea came to me a few weeks ago and I thought it would be perfect for this time of year. Hope it warms you up as you read it._


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